Cancer is life changing

My title is rather obvious. Others who have gone through the experience know that, those who haven’t might not. Mine changed considerably, to the point where the life I was experiencing a year ago is falling away, for the better.

People, desires, habits, attitudes; Nowhere, can they be perceived in the same way anymore.

I’ve detached myself from those who have shown, in the long run, to not be whom they claimed to be. It is disheartening to find out a friend is only that, as long as they are “in charge” of the friendship.

I now find that the desire for material things is a distraction from a truth that has since surfaced and is beckoning to be followed. This experience has given me a much deeper understanding of the word Maya.

I gave up tobacco in 2014 and alcohol in 2018 leading to feeling better and finding I had quite a bit of extra money in my pocket. During chemotherapy I was smoking, for me, large quantities of marijuana, it was a great help with appetite and sleep but began to outlive its usefulness and became nothing more than a habit. I gave that up recently due to the fog and lethargy; Two days later my lungs and sinuses cleared up, I found I had more clarity, energy and, I’ve felt excellent since!

Having been away from working since April of this year, I find that I no longer have a desire to interact with the general public in that capacity. I helped a friend run his cigar shop. It was not the healthiest environment due to the indoor smoking. A fair number of customers were not so pleasant, and I found myself biting my tongue so as not to be rude. It became a rather stressful situation and, along with the events of 2020 onward, just increased that stress. I now believe that these were a trigger that helped fuel the cancer. Stress is a nasty beast!

As of today I’m without any new cancer growth. Tomorrow morning I have my next scan and then every three months going forward. It was either the scans or a constant dose of pill form chemo; No thanks!

A few of the lessons I’ve learned along the way…

What others think of you is of no consequence; What you think and feel about yourself, with sincerity, is most important but, you must be honest with you! I’ve read; “We live in a world ruled by lies. Anyone who denies this simply tells another lie. Lying to others is not as bad as lying to oneself and, believing those lies.” (Boris Mouravieff; Gnosis) I paraphrase.

A conscious, positive mental attitude is a true means of healing the self. I know this to be true as this was my attitude throughout twelve rounds of aggressive chemotherapy and major colon/liver surgery. Going forward I will continue to choose, yes, a positive attitude is a choice, to continue to be positive in my attitude towards life and everything connected.

One element that was extremely helpful was my musical ability. I was able to express thoughts and feelings that came from within instead of keeping them bottled up inside. chronicles

But in the end, it was the love and support of my partner, Sharon, who was a most significant aspect of my recovery. Through her I have discovered a true meaning of the word love.